Alternate Ending to A day with Ike
by ArminArlelt
Summary: This is what would happen if Ike, Link, Marth actually made it into their hotel room! You kind of need read "A day with Ike" to have an idea about what's going on, but not really. CRACKFIC.


**This is an alternate ending to "A day with Ike". Hope you like it!**

"Thank you! Enjoy your stay!" the receptionist said happily before eating the waffle. Link, Marth, and Ike heard a shriek come from the waffle as the receptionist continued to gnaw on the pastry.

"To the hotel room!" Ike said before picking up the two other swordsmen and heading in the direction of their hotel room, humming the Barney theme song.

Ike stopped at the base of some stairs and looked at the many flights that they would have to go up to get to their room.

"All right! I love stairs!" Ike hollered just because he felt like it.

Ike went up 1,000,000,000,000,000 steps before he stopped because there was a cookie in front of him. After almost an hour of contemplating whether to pick it up and eat it or do the worm, he finally decided to give it to Link as a present.

He was about to do something inappropriate, but then he looked down to see Marth and Link soundly asleep. Drool coated every part of them and they were snoring like bulldozers. Ike's eyes sparkled and he smiled like an idiot.

"Aww! They're so cute when they're asleep," Ike said surprisingly quietly.

Link snored in response and Marth twitched as a peanut fell from the sky and hit him in the face.

"Man, I REALLY want some PEANUT BUTTER!" Ike suddenly yelled. Quite inappropriately, I might add.

Marth suddenly woke up (why is everything happening so suddenly?) and slapped Ike as hard as he could. Link didn't move.

Ike's eyes widened and he looked from Marth to Link and back with his mouth agape.

"AAAHHH!" Ike screamed in as he had a spaz attack on the step they were on, making Marth and Link fall onto the steps.

Link suddenly mooed in his sleep and counted to 3.

Marth sat up and watched them for a moment before he began to recite the alphabet. When he got to the letter Q, he whacked Link down the stairs just because he felt like it.

Link fell down the 1,000,000,000,000,000 steps and landed at the bottom 3 hours later, surprisingly unharmed.

A man walked by him and looked down at the unmoving form of the swordsman.

"I say, are you quite alright? Would you like some juice?" he asked, bending down to Link's level on the floor.

Link hopped up and looked at the man for a moment before barking and dashing back up the stairs like a chinchilla was chasing him.

Suddenly, the man looked as if he had just experienced an extreme case of constipation.

"Man, I REALLY want some PEANUT BUTTER!" the man yelled at his shoe before running up to the front desk and threatening to commit suicide if he didn't get some.

Link finally made it back up the stairs to where Ike and Marth were after buying 76 pens from a man that he met on the way up.

Ike was still rolling around in the floor screaming, and Marth had started saying random words after successfully completing the alphabet.

"PICKLE! FORK! MAGNET! REFRIGERATOR! SOUP! CANTALOUPE! NONCHALANT!" Marth yelled at the top of his lungs. The inappropriate words echoed down the endless stairway.

Link watched the disturbing pair for several more minutes before he threw pens at them to snap them out of the trance they both seemed to be in.

"You dented my fro!" Ike yelled.

"Man, shoot, you ain't awesome enough to have a fro," Marth said coolly.

Ike suddenly pulled a random Goldfish Cracker from the never-ending pit of Link's pockets.

"DUH DUH DUH DDDUUUUHHHH!" Ike yelled dramatically while holding the cracker high above his head in an awkward fashion, "this Goldfish Cracker is high in sodium but low in fat! It was once used to defeat Ganondorf!"

Link stared at him for a moment before turning to Marth who gave him an awkward shrug.

Ike held up the cracker for a long time before eating it. Ike looked at Marth and Link as he chewed and swallowed the cracker.

"Ya know, we really should get up to our hotel room," Ike said like it wasn't his fault that they were not already there.

Marth and Link nodded and the three friends started to head up the stairs again.

After an uneventful walk up the rest of the stairs, the three made it to their hotel room door.

"How do we get in?" Ike asked. He bent down and licked the doorknob because he thought it would come to life and tell him jokes if he did. Marth grimaced and pulled Ike away from the violated doorknob.

"Gee, Ike, I don't know, maybe with the ROOM KEY?" Marth said sarcastically as he pulled a key from Link's pocket and held it up in his face.

"That's stupid! THIS is how you open a door!" Ike yelled wildly as he pulled out his sword and slashed the door to pieces.

"That's… one way to do it…" Link said as he watched Ike obliterate the innocent hotel room door.

"K. We're good," Ike said as he nonchalantly walked in the room.

"Thank you so much, Ike. I don't know WHAT we would do without you," Marth said rolling his eyes.

Ike unpacked his bags and then laid down on one of the beds.

"How do you have bags? You didn't know we were going to a hotel!" Marth yelled.

"This is a hotel?" Ike asked as he looked around the room.

"You are so dumb," Marth said.

"Your mom is," Ike stated. Marth looked at him like he had just been slapped. He then broke down crying.

"You are so mean!" Marth yelled.

"Lamination is my favorite word," Ike said like he was completely oblivious to the prince's crying... which he kind of was.

"What does-"

"I sing 'Thriller' off-key."

"I don't-"

"I'm socially awkward."

"Why-"

"Sometimes Ike talks in third person."

"What-"

"Ribs are good."

"I DON'T-"

"Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care."

"WHAT-"

"Pixi Sticks clog arteries."

"WHY-"

"I wish my mom was a vegetarian."

"DON'T-"

"My first impression of you was that you were constipated."

"IKE!-"

"Michael Jackson wants you."

"OH MY-"

"I got some foot cream on my cape this morning."

"PLEASE-"

"Broccoli is my favorite fruit."

"That doesn't-"

"I have an imaginary friend named Goober that steals my underwear."

"Ike-"

"My bra size is 78P."

"You don't wear-"

"The word cabbage scares me."

"Cabbage?"

"AH!"

"But I just said-"

"AH!"

"Marth! Stop scaring him!" Link called.

"But I didn't!-"

"AH!"

"SHUT UP!" Marth yelled.

"NO, U!" Ike yelled back. Ike jack-slapped Marth and then started to cry.

Marth decided that the best thing to do would be to go and make some soup and then come back and watch an episode of Spongebob. So… he did.

10 minutes later, Marth noticed that Ike was crying.

"What's wrong, Ike?" Marth asked.

"I… I'm sorry I slapped you, Marth!" Ike cried. Marth went outside and insulted a hobo before coming back and looking at Ike.

"Ike? Are you bi-polar?" Marth asked. Ike stopped crying and stood up, towering over Marth with a dark glare.

"I AM NOT BI-POLAR!" Ike yelled as loudly as possible. He screamed so loudly that Marth ran backwards and leaped out the window.

When Marth made it back up the millions of stairs, he came back up to Ike.

"Well that's good to hear," Marth smiled.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the non-existent door.

"Come in!~" Ike sang off-key.

A very fancy looking man came in with a piece of paper.

"Sup," he greeted, "I have had complaints about disturbing behavior coming from this room. Be out by 11:00 or you'll all be stuffed in bags filled with styrofoam peanuts and plastic spoons and tossed in the river to drown and fester for all eternity. Good bye."

The man slapped Marth before grabbing all the little packages of hotel soap out of the bathroom and leaving.

"Well that was pleasant," Link said finally.

"I liked him!" Ike yelled.

"Link, what time is it?" Marth asked holding his burning cheek where he had been slapped.

"Its 11:00," Link said looking at the digital clock on the bedside table.

The hotel manager came in and stuffed Marth, Ike, and Link in bags filled with styrofoam peanuts and plastic spoons and sent them floating down the river to drown and fester for all eternity.

Although, after a series of events FAR too complex to explain, the three ended up back at the Smash Mansion.

"Man, it's good to be home!" Link said as he plopped down under the tree they had been dragged away from that morning.

"Yep. Sorry for going crazy. Ike rubs off on me sometimes," Marth said as he also sat down.

"It's ok. Much longer and I would have been worse than you," Link said.

"Hey, Ike! Come here and pop a squat!" Marth said.

"What does that mean?" Ike asked.

"SIT DOWN!" Marth yelled.

"Okay!*" Ike said happily before sitting down beside Link.

"Why did you sit by Link?" Marth asked.

"Because he has blond hair," Ike said simply.

"Oh yeah," Marth said, realizing that that was totally obvious.

As the three guys sat under the tree, despising the fresh air and sunshine, Ike asked,

"Marth, why do you have blue hair?"

Marth and Link – T-T

~The End~

**Again, thanks to all my gal pal's for helping me with the story! This was just an alternate ending to see what would have happened if Ike, Link, and Marth really would have went to their hotel room.**

**Thanks for reading!* - Dawn ^^,**


End file.
